Ask Allie: Adding Romantic Elements to a Wardrobe

Hi Allie,
Can you recommend a way to start to add romantic elements to a wardrobe? My wardrobe mostly consists of classic pieces and my body shape doesn't do well with ruffles, bows and frou-frou, but I have a romantic personality and would like to express that in my clothing.

For instance, I've got lots of t-shirt dresses for summer in vibrant colors - any way to add some romantic details to those?

Thanks!
Amy


Hi Amy!
Great question! Staples are great because they are versatile, but they really don’t show your true personality. Solid colors and clean lines often give a more professional/hardened feel if not accessorized correctly. This makes it extra difficult for those who have a softer or more romantic side. Here’s a few suggestions to make those t-shirt dresses and other classic pieces for your romantic self:

Scarves: A beautiful large, square silk scarf in a romantic floral or painterly pattern can transform most any style. Tied in a square knot at your throat with that t-shirt dress will make the style more feminine and polished; add a delicate gold bracelet and some delicate heels and what could have been quite the knock around garment is now elegant. An oblong scarf looped around the throat dresses up a simple shift dress or top – combine it with a necklace or two and you have a romantic version of a simple tank and jeans. That oblong scarf can also replace a belt for a simple shell and trousers (tie in a knot and have the knot off to the side so it hangs as a sash), and there is nothing more elegant than tying your square scarf to the handle of your handbag. In place of a cardigan or blazer, wear a shawl or pashmina, the drapey fabric gives a romantic feel to the most standard of pieces.
Both looks from Ann Taylor

Jewelry: I am a HUGE jewelry-aholic. Any trip I take, thrift store I enter, or even cheap kid’s boutique I pass in the mall, I check out the jewelry selection available. No accessory can show your true personality better than a great jewelry collection. Yesterday walking down the street, I saw a woman wearing the same dress I own. It is a black ponte knit sheath with short sleeves and a square neckline. I had to look twice to recognize the dress for her jewelry completely transformed its look. She had a long strand of pearls looped around to make a choaker and then an opera-length of beads. Along with it, she had an opera-length strand of thin gold links that were interspersed with crystal drops. A gold and crystal bracelet matched this necklace. The look was so feminine and romantic, it completely transformed what I saw as a dress with very strong, graphic lines.

Pearls are always a safe bet, as are bracelets with charms or baubles. Don’t worry about piling them on if they are in a similar style set (all gold, all beaded, all antiqued silver) – this gives even more of a romantic and individual look. I have an old coworker who used to soften her business suits with cameos and vintage brooches – they were elegant, unique and showed that she was a romantic soul under all that pinstripe!

Next time you go shopping, wear a simple outfit and check out your look in a mirror and you experiment with different pieces of jewelry. You will be amazed how a simple necklace or pair of earrings will give a whole new life and style to your wardrobe basics.
Both looks from Gigi Caron

Shoes: We women are so lucky, this season seems to accept most any style of shoe. Like a chunky wood wedge? No problem. More the type to love a delicate kitten heel? That works! Whether you like flats or stilettos, platforms or Pumas, there is a style that you can find and fits your personality.

It is getting far too warm for this now, but come fall, boots are a great choice. Flat riding boots, lace-up granny boots with delicate heels, sleek leather boots with pointed toes and slim heels, nothing else better defines a look than a great pair of boots. To show your romantic side, don’t be afraid of details like frog closures, decorative heels, lacing, or unusual colors like Bordeaux, gray, hunter or navy. A great and unique boot can be a signature piece that works with tights and a simple dress, a romantic floaty skirt, or even over slim jeans or leggings with a men’s inspired fisherman sweater.

I often tell women that if you can’t wear a certain color near your face, you often can near your ankles. Look terrible in yellow but love the hue? Get yourself some great yellow sandals! Can’t wear lace and bows and frou-frou? Why not let your shoes have the fun. Take a simple black shift dress and add spectator pumps, peeptoes with a pink grosgrain bow, floral silk mules with a kitten heel and you look stylish yet true to yourself. Having a simple wardrobe makes it easier to get creative with your footwear, since they will take center stage and most likely compliment a larger portion of your closet.
Both looks from J. Crew

Purses: So all the It Girls are carrying a leather hobo big enough to store a family of four… that doesn’t mean you need to. Another thing the lady on the street with pearls and my dress had was a clutch purse. It was black leather, rouched, and looked large enough to comfortably carry all her necessities. Tucking her bag into her elbow instead of hiking it over her shoulder gave a completely different effect and silhouette – far more feminine, delicate and romantic.

If clutches aren’t your thing, try a handbag. My good friend who sees Marilyn Monroe as a style icon always carries a small ivory wicker bag with red ribbon handles each summer. The bag is so sweet and feminine; it really transforms her look, even if she’s heading to the market in a tee and capris. Classic Kelly bags are a great choice, as are bags you have picked up on your travels. Made of unique fabrics and styles, they will be a signature piece that adds your true self to your finished look.
Both looks by Nordstrom

Your Hair: We often get into the long-layered rut. It’s simple, it’s easy and everyone else is doing it. Well if you are a romantic, long straightened hair doesn’t always fit the look. Try a beach spray (or make your own with water and sea salt) and encourage natural waves. If your hair is naturally curly, let your wild show with a cascade of curls, or a face-softening short cut that gives a halo of spirals around your head. A few warm highlights can really transform your look and add depth to your natural color. If you have bangs, consider growing them out into a layer or having them made into a side-swept style that is more relaxed and feminine. If you are a romantic, longer hair is often more flattering (no matter your age). Keep it relaxed but well maintained and your mane alone can add much romance to your classic look.

Finally, what you wear underneath may not be seen by the public, but it affects how you stand and how you feel. Invest in some feminine frilly confections for your lingerie drawer. You may be buttoned up in wool gabardine, but your lovely lacy bras, panties and slips will remind you that you are all woman!

How to Have Style

I would like to thank Polly from my French Chic group for bringing my attention to this article from PsychologyToday.com. I think this is an amazing article that really defines style and how it is different from fashion and not a superficial, stupid characteristic to possess. Many times I feel I have to apologize for having a blog about style, thinking people find me to be materialistic and silly to care so much about such a subject. But style is not stupid, materialistic, or silly and Hara Estroff Marano defines style quite perfectly in this article. Enjoy!

How to Have Style
Unlike fashion, a sense of style comes from within.
By: Hara Estroff Marano

It’s clear to me from the many people I talk to that there is a great misunderstanding about style. Style is not a price. It is not an age. It is not a size. And it can be learned.

Style is one part self-knowledge and one part self-confidence. In other words, it’s an attitude. It is a life-affirming expression of your character and spirit, a conviction that you are worth knowing, worth looking at and can present yourself well. It is knowing your strengths and weaknesses so that you can accentuate your strengths, not hide real or imagined shortcomings. Feeling good about yourself is a sine qua non of looking good.

There is one more element of style, and that is clothes, but style should never be confused with fashion. Fashion is synonymous with clothes, but style is merely expressed through clothes. Fashion is IN the clothes. Style is IN the wearer.

Style is nothing if not a celebration of individuality, of individual variability. It glorifies the fact that we are all different. It exposes as preposterous the notion that there is an ideal body, an ideal woman—that there is only one perfect way to look, that any one way is perfect for all
women. Style always delights because it is a revelation that the possibilities for originality are limitless.

Style rejects ideals. It goes its own way. In fact, style is nothing if not a triumph of the fresh and unusual.

Style is democratic. It assumes that every woman has the potential to create an identity that’s unique, and to express it through how she carries herself, how she grooms herself, what she puts on.

Yet style is aristocratic. It sets apart those who have it from those whose dress is merely functional, utilitarian. It announces to the world that the wearer has a sense of herself and has assumed command of herself.

Style is intelligent, because it requires self-knowledge. Style hugs the self closely, even though it never represents the whole self at one time. The self is too complex to be represented by any one way of dressing.

Style is optimistic. It is optimism made visible. Style presumes that you are a person of interest, that the world is a place of interest, that life is worth making the effort for.

There is no style without taking risk, without exploring new sides of the self, without saving what works and discarding the errors. Style, then, is a springboard for personal growth.

There are those who criticize style for its trendiness and materialistic consumption. But they are confusing style with fashion. Fashion is preoccupied with change merely for change’s sake, to stoke consumer purchases.

Style is in fact a way of avoiding the clutter of stuff. It is a way of sorting through the crowded marketplaces, a way of selecting, making choices influenced not so much by pressures such as advertising but by internal considerations. This kind of style no more requires change from season to season that does your character. But neither is it completely static. Ideally it should evolve over time, as character does.

Style is really self-knowledge applied selectively—selectivity is its essence—to the material world.

Psyched
for Success, 20 November 2003
Last Reviewed 29 Mar 2006
Article ID: 3123

Your Challenge This Week

Your challenge – until Memorial Day (we’re talking only 12 days, 10 if you exclude today and the 26th) be good to yourself and your fellow woman. What do I mean?

1. Accept that you are a woman, not a moving mannequin. Of COURSE you will have some softness, bumps and lumps in various places. Moaning over them, cursing them and tugging at them doesn’t make them disappear and just ruins your mood, which affect your appearance. Every time you are ready to scowl at your reflection, stop in your tracks and find something you are happy about. Fabulous pedicure? Feminine ankles? Stop-in-your-tracks lashes? Maybe you are starting to see results from your new gym membership, or are always told you have the most infectious smile. Those who have high self esteem are seen as being more attractive to others – for a week allow yourself to accept and heck… even LOVE yourself and see how reactions will change!

2. Go a week without the rags. Can you do it, a week without TMZ, Perez, InTouch and OK!? A week without guessing who’s cellulite is being pictured on the front of the Inquirer, and what It Girl was caught sans makeup (or panties) the day before. Why do we find such entertainment in finding fellow women not look their best? It doesn’t help our appearance, or our soul. You may find a week without the gossip sites and rags may actually make you feel better about yourself.

3. Before you judge, try to place yourself in her shoes. “Omigod, did you see what SHE WAS WEARING?” “That woman should NOT be wearing that with HER figure.” “What a fat-ass, her skin is disgusting, wow she looks so old for her age!” How many times have you caught yourself whispering something similar to your friend (or whispering it to yourself)? Often times, those we judge we judge unfairly. Possibly that woman has a medical condition, is pregnant, just gave birth, is going through a nasty divorce, is cramming for The Bar, had a death in the family, had her house burn down and is wearing donated clothes… gosh the reasons could be endless and extreme. Thing is, we are so harsh on our fellow woman without stopping to wonder WHY, or to offer assistance. Have an acquaintance who can’t style her way out of a paper bag? Instead of gossiping about her tapered chinos over mojitos with your friends, offer a makeover day with a shopping trip (or a shop in her closet day). See a stranger at the fitting room admiring her reflection while you know that dress does nothing for her hips? Instead of sneering or giggling, why not gently offer her your opinion and an alternative choice?

No woman WANTS to look unflattering, she usually doesn’t have a clue how to change her style or get out from under her personal woes. Try to get into her shoes and think, if you were she, what would you like to hear or what would you need at that moment? You never know when karma will come back and assist you during a time of need.

One week of being considerate and compassionate to your fellow woman, and to your self. Amazing how one week can totally change your outlook on life and alter your priorities. Start the summer off great by detoxing your mindset. I challenge all of you to try this and come back and let me know how it went!

Splendid Reads for This Weekend...

SHOPPING

Style Tots has Suri Cruise's Ladybug shoes that Oprah liked so much.

Style It Less gives you 10 Cameron Diaz's red pumps for less.

Let's Go Shopping finds some Great Deals at Ferro Cosmetics.

My Wardrobe Today reviewsvarious popular foundation and face products.

eye4style loves Balenciaga bags AND the trend of invite-only, online sample sales, so she offers up an exclusive invite to Rue La La for readers.

Teen Style Lounge shares a must-have workout DVD for a summer slim bod.

BEAUTY
This mascara ended A Touch of Blusher's mascara search...

Raging Rouge announces the MAX Factor May Makeover Giveaway. Over $750 of MAX Factor products will be divided among TEN winners!

Beauty Banter dishes on the most important moisturizer for oily/ acne prone complexions... and it's less then 10 dollars!

Get to know marina from makeup loves me a little bit better, as she shares all her beauty secrets with you!

15 Minute Beauty Fanatic gives you the products that Billy B uses on SATC's Kristen Davis!

FASHION
She Knows Best thinks A Little Shoe Change Didn’t Hurt John Mayer.

The Latest Luxe is having Double the Fun in Christian Louboutin Slingbacks

The Fashionable Kiffen has a whole bunch of Mother's Day gift ideas.

Wardrobe Oxygen suggests some ways to look polished at work during the summer heat.

STYLEnosh is asking, Are you a style hater?".

Why did Michelle Tractenberg, J. Lo, Lauren Bush and Fergie Have all give the cold shoulder at the Costume Institute Ball? Haute and Bothered's got the dish

Have you voted in the Snarkstress's Fashion Icon poll yet? Katie Holmes and Reese Witherspoon are neck and neck, but after recent photos of Katie Holmes in NYC, you just may be swayed.

Being Stylish While Being Cool

Today it is over 80 degrees in The Nation’s Capital… and today I have seen some of the worst work fashion travesties in months! Ladies, just because it is warm out does not mean decorum, class and style should go right out the window. It really is possible to stay cool and be cool about how you do it.

1. Respect Your Profession. Even when I worked at a very trendy fashion boutique, I didn’t flash a lot of skin. I respected my company, and the clients who shopped there, so I chose to enjoy the summer months with a bit more skin showing, but not letting it all hang out. Unless you are a lifeguard, a waitress at Hooters or a car show model, there is rarely a reason why you should have your stomach showing for work (this includes those shirts that barely hit your waistband and show an inch or two every time you swing your arms or reach for something off a shelf). Tube tops, backless halter tops and dresses, and short shorts are included. Your office may be very casual, but as my old boss at that trendy boutique said, “one should dress not for the job she has but the job she aspires to have.” Upper management is rarely seen in beachfront cantina-worthy attire, and those who are, they are rarely respected by their subordinates.

To keep cool, a sleeveless top or dress that is loose enough to let the breeze flow will do nicely. If you must wear that gauzy halter sun dress, pair it with a thin cotton cardigan. Adding a couple extra inches to your shorts will not cause heat stroke and no matter your figure, your colleagues will thank you for dressing with respect.

2. Flip Flops are NOT Shoes. Flip flops are terrible for your feet, dangerous on wet streets, make horrible sounds when you clop around and are not the footwear of stylish women. Flip flops are for the beach, running around your house, the pool and maybe a trip to the grocery. Consider a thing made out of leather, suede, patent or fabric that has a more substantial sole. Another great alternative is a traditional sandal. To work so hard and spend so much on a lovely blouse and trousers and then kill it with your rubber thongs from Old Navy or Reef… it just doesn’t make sense.

3. Shine a Light. On your light-fabric and light-colored clothing, that is. Yesterday while walking to the train, a beautiful woman was walking ahead of me. She had on adorable mules, a teal twinset and a mint-colored linen bias-cut skirt. Oh, and purple striped bikini underwear with pink lace trim. Getting a quick glance in your full-length mirror may not tell the true story about your garments. Have a light shine behind you, and then move as if you were walking. Get a hand mirror, turn around and examine your back view. If you can even slightly see your undergarments, they will be on full display once you are out in the midday sun.

Can’t stand thongs? There are many styles and fabrics of underwear that are made to be invisible under garments. Choosing a lightweight fabric in your skin tone that is free of decoration is a good start. Also, to save time and stress when dressing, don’t purchase items that are prone to being transparent (light colored linen and thin cotton, unlined white trousers, light colored nylon). You’ll never see me in a light colored skirt that isn’t made of a very heavy fabric or comes with a lining – too much trouble, too much worry and not worth my time or money.

4. Heat Does Not Equal 24/7 Casual Friday. This rule is about respect; your office may not have a rule about dress code, but to respect yourself and your office you should make your own. Sloppy tee shirts, ribbed tanks, shorts, frayed denim, rumpled clothing does not have a place in the workplace.

Knits can be great if they are of a high-quality fabric, have a more formal style (slightly fitted, interesting neckline or sleeves) and are of a nice color. Ribbed tanks, when worn under a jacket or cardigan can be appropriate but are not work-worthy on their own. Some current styles of shorts (walkers, city shorts, Bermudas) can work for the office if paired with a jacket or tailored blouse, but few other styles look good outside the plant nursery or Home Depot. Frayed denim may be chic, but is best left to the weekend. As for rumpled clothing? If you loathe to iron, then don’t buy items that are so easy to wrinkle.

Great options for beating the heat while looking chic:

Breezy shift and sheath dresses:
Paired with gladiator or traditional sandals, this is a warm-weather favorite. Not only is this look great for the office, but it works for weekend social events, or even for running errands around town. Choose a fabric that can handle the washing machine, and either hang dries to perfection or can take a tumble in the dryer so you have a low-stress wardrobe go-to.

Trapunto-stitch sheath dress from Ann Taylor – On Sale for $49.99

Tropical-linen shift from Gap - $59.50

Capris, city and walking shorts:
In a crisp fabric, these garments will look professional and resist wrinkles. Pair with a short-sleeved blazer for a casual summer suit, or with a crisp no-wrinkle shirt or feminine knit and a pair of ballet flats or peeptoe wedges.

Linen capris for women from Old Navy (not shown) - $32.50

Twill Bermuda shorts for petites from Talbots – On Sale for $32.00

Flat or low wedge sandals:
Just as comfy as your favorite flip flops, but with more polish and structure. Pair with your favorite dresses, shorts and trousers for casual elegance.

Casual flat sandal from Lands End in leather or patent - $49.50

Wedge thong from Calvin Klein - $70 at Zappos

Airy blouses and shirts:
Let the air flow and look proper in these great tops. Paired with a crisp twill pencil skirt, Bermudas, or wide-leg trousers and a pair of flat sandals, you will be chic and feeling cool.

Cotton/silk blend ruffled blouse by MICHAEL Michael Kors - $79.50 at Nordstrom

Black striped belted seersucker blouse for women from Fashion Web - $36.00 at Alight

Splendid Reads for This Weekend...

BEAUTY

Beautiful Makeup Search picks some great makeup for the multi-tasking Mom.

NY Spender loves her new T3 Tourmaline wet-to-dry flat iron!

ParisB of My Women Stuff shares some thought on the new Origins Organics face lotion.

Viva Woman takes a closer look at toners, toning mists and facial sprays and examines how each is suited for different skin types.

Karen from Makeup and Beauty Blog interviews MAC Cosmetics Senior Makeup Artist Jennifer Karsten and gets the skinny on how it's like to work with Kanye West.

Beauty Bento Box learns a thing or two about eye makeup via a MAC fafi eye makeover.

Beauty Secrets Revealed shares a Tropical Hair Conditioner Recipe for Silky and Shiny Hair.

Beauty and Fashion Tech tries out a number of products from the new Sally Hansen Natural Beauty Line and posts a picture of the completed look.

Beauty Match discovers Cossidia Rejuvenating Capsules: Nanotechnology skincare!

FASHION

Style...a work in progress ponders whether jewelry can have the evil eye when she says " Wish me luck!"

Petite Fashionista got an email from Hayden's Panettiere's mom and she's got some exciting news to share Once you read this, you better hurry and grab a ticket to this petite friendly event!

Sasha of Style Manila discovers a way to wear her vintage silk sari as a dress.

Tops 2 Bottoms offers the Bandeau One-Piece Swimsuit as a stylish reason to get wet this summer.

Indie Style File take a long lustful look at Vancouver Fashion Week.

Shoe Blitz features this chunky heel sandal, which is a great alternative to flats.

The Space Between My Peers recommends Making Peace With Your Body Image.

SHOPPING

ShopDiary says Gossip Girl Serena Van der Woodsen’s Burberry Prorsum The Mason Warrior Bagwill come in handy when she eventually goes to battle with her arch-nemesis, Georgina Sparks.

Shopalicious shows you how to impress your Mom on Mother's Day with this charming Ava Rose wicker handbag -- and get 15% off too!

Her Accessories has been blogging about her favorite picks for Mother's Day and has posted her favorite picks - sure to win you Mom points!

All that & a found a gorgeous knife pleat dress that will take you through summer.

Free Tip - Keep it Clean

When was the last time you washed your makeup brushes? Not wiped them on a tissue to change shadow colors or even use a swab of makeup remover, but actually cleaned them? Not only will a good washing of your brushes keep them hygienic, it will help prevent breakouts from bacteria and miscellaneous crud being transferred to your skin, and also will help with the application and pigment level of your cosmetics.

There are some great precuts out there specifically for the cleansing of makeup brushes, but I use shampoo. A tip I learned when I worked in skincare is to occasionally switch out the gentle shampoo with an antibacterial wash (I use the Body Shop’s Tea Tree Face Wash) to give the brushes a gentle yet thorough cleansing.

Wet the bristles with warm water, trying to keep the water on the exposed bristles only. In the palm of your hand, mix a bit of shampoo or cleanser with water to form a soapy lather. Swirl the brush in your palm gently; you will see the lather become opaque or change colors as the makeup is lifting away from the bristles. Rinse, and swirl to see if any pigment is left. If so, repeat. Dry brushes flat on a towel, reshaping the bristles. If possible, let the bristles hang over the edge of your counter or table to help air flow through the bristles to prevent any mildew.

You will feel as though you have a new set of super-soft brushes and your makeup will go on so much more smoothly! Before you decide your blush, bronzer or foundation is starting to look dull and boring; wash your brushes. Often times, the problem isn’t the product or even your skin, but the applicator!

In Honor of Spring

I know many have probbaly seen this before or had it emailed to you by a girlfriend... well I got my first pedicure of the season this weekend and so felt inspired to share this. Very cute... and very good advice! (Thanks Amanda for sending this my way!)

The Open Toed Shoe Pledge
As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the Rules when wearing sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. The sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes.. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to go to my local nail salon at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about$25 or $30and worth EVERY penny).

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear... nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.

Splendid Reads for This Weekend...

SHOPPING
Wardrobe Oxygen offers somewardrobe alternatives to the less-than-flattering pieces in your closet.

My Wardrobe Today reviews Clinique cosmetics and skincare.

eye4style shops jewelry designer Philip Crangi's limited edition collection for The Gap.

STYLEnosh spends quality time with online shoe stores.


BEAUTY
Aging Fabulous tells you about anti-aging the natural way.

TheScentedLife has a craft crush on Disquieting Designs.

Raging Rouge is officially addicted to Treat O'my Goodness Pink Grapefruit Organic Body Cream.

A Touch of Blusher loves the Golden Dior pendant.

eBeautyDaily tests new self-tanners, but goes back to old faithful, Xen-Tan.

Beauty Banter muses over the must-have Spring nail items... including the most sought after Spring polish colors!

15 Minute Beauty Fanatic is really loving Kiehl's new Superbly Restorative Products!

Beautynomics shares to us her review about the skin care sensation REVALESKIN.

makeup loves me takes the blue lash trend straight from the runway to you.

Teen Style Lounge shares 5 cheap and easy at-home tips for gorgeous skin. this spring.


FASHION
CelebLook asks which of Miley's looks is your favorite.

The Fashionable Kiffen shares her packing tips in Travel Wardrobes 101.

Haute & Bothered's gone green with tree chic fashions that are naturally haute!

Let's Go Shopping writes about Spring 2008 Hottest Make-Up Trends.

Snarkstress loves how Eva, Miley, and Alicia are scarfing it up this season.

Wardrobe Alternatives

We all have safety nets in our wardrobe. These are items we collect because they are comfy, they are cheap and they often remind us of younger, happier and more fun days (come now, who doesn't get excited when the weather warms up enough for flip flops?). Problem is, many of these wardrobe safety nets are devoid of any style and often end up destroying the personal style we otherwise may possesses on a given day. How do you keep it easy, breezy, yet maintain your personal style?

The Flip Flop Alternative
Don't get me wrong, I love flip flops as much as the next gal. This weekend when grabbing a pair so I could play in the yard with my dog, I rifled through eight different pairs to find my beloved Reefs. I have stacked ones for longer pants, crocheted ones that are a tad dressier, aqua ones to match my bathing suit, ones that work well in wet conditions, ones that work with certain sun dresses or beach coverups in my closet. The thing is, flip flops are not real shoes. They don't look like real shoes, they don't wear like real shoes (any orthopedist will tell you they are terrible for your feet), they are often dirty, run-down and ruin the line of your silhouette. Flip flops are great for the beach, the pool, the casual cookout in your friend's backyard or putting around your own; but what does a gal grab when heading to the market, to work and other places where flip flops are just not a chic choice?

The Gladiator Sandal - this style of shoe has been in style for many summers, and with good reason. It's flat, it's simple, and it looks chic. In a metallic leather and with a simple and low silhouette, this shoe works with cotton and linen trousers for work, simple dresses and skirts all week long, and can even be paired with a maxi dress for a wedding or social affair. Due to their versatility, look for a pair that is well-made, low on additional adornment (the metallic fabric and a few o-rings to connect the straps is all that is necessary) and comfortable. If you have large ankles, look for styles that don't have straps that come all the way to the actual ankle; a lower-rise of sandal will be more comfortable and elongate the leg.

Some options:
Lands End Casual Flat Sandal
Isaac Mizrahi for Target Gladiator Sandal
Report Gladiator Thong Sandal

The Flat - the flat isn't going anywhere. Each season we seem to acquire more options in flat shoes. A classic ballet flat is a popular choice, but not the best for those with short or heavy legs. A style with a peep-toe, a slight wedge heel (even 1/4"), or a pointed toe will elongate the silhouette. Instead of opting for a safe pair in brown, tan or black, consider a bright color to add pop to your outfits. You will be amazed how a Kelly green, orange, or magenta color will work with the majority of your wardrobe. The shoe is so small and so far away from your summer dresses and shorter pants, colorful flats will be a great unexpected accent.

The Skimmer - skimmers usually have the tread and even sidewalls of tennis shoes, but a low profile. They offer more support than a classic flat, and can come in casual canvas, or even a more polished look of leather and microfiber. Be careful, in a neutral color and style skimmers can often look matronly (if in leather), or cheap (if in canvas or with sneaker-details). However with some knotted fabric detail, a buckle or variation on fabric a skimmer can be a great alternative not just to the flip flop but also the walking shoe.

The Leather Thong - If you must get flip flops, get them of a substantial fabric and with a bit more heft to the style. Every store seems to be selling a jazzed-up version of the flip flop out of leather, and often with hardware. Many leather thongs are just as comfy as your favorite foamies, but are chic enough to pair with trousers or skirts for work.

Some options:
Indigo by Clarks Leather Thong
Aerosoles Winky Toe Thongs
Frye's Dani Thong

The Hoodie Alternative
Many times I see women wearing the cutest little outfits and then cover it with a hooded zip-up sweatshirt. Shrunken to fit, baggy, a color coordinating the outfit, a fun pattern... it is still a hoodie. Hoodies are for rainy Sundays on the couch, to ward off chill after a yoga class, to bundle in on a camping trip, to pair with jeans and sneaks for a day at Home Depot or 8am college classes. A hoodie is not appropriate wear for work, and it is not a go-to coverup for lightweight tops and sun dresses. This weekend I attended a wedding where I saw a girl in the cutest cotton floral sun dress, peeptoe heels, flowing hair... and a navy blue shrunken hoodie with a graphic on the back. Heading to work, I often see women in tailored shirts, pencil skirts and hoodies - it's an afterthought.

Head out the door, find it's not as warm as you thought so you grab an extra layer... we all do this. Well here are some hoodie alternatives that may prove to be more versatile and work with, instead of against your style:

The Pashmina - a pashmina is an easy way to ward off chill but maintain your style. Pashminas are great for weddings and more formal events for they compliment dresses and feminine silhouettes and can be tossed over a chair when you want to dance or move around. They are great for travel for they pack up to almost nothing and can be a nice alternative to a scratchy airplane blanket. Nothing makes an outfit seem more chic than tossing a pashmina over your shoulders (especially in your favorite cheery color!).

The Cardigan - cardigans come in various necklines and with a variety of closure methods. The classic crewneck cardigan with buttons is a great choice to throw over a tee, sun dress or tank. A v-neck style is great with collared shirts or even a simple ribbed tank peeking out. Choosing a one-button or style tat ties at the neck adds femininity to the look. There are also many styles that are drapey and even tie in front or wrap around like a pashmina - good choice for chilly offices or road trips. Do stay away from the sweater coats and long belted cardigans - these usually bunch up at the rear and add bulk, not style to your look. If you desire warmth in a longer style, choose a heavier knit or a boiled wool style so it skims along your body.

Some options:
Lands End Fine Gauge Cotton Cardigan
Talbots Woman Textured Cardigan
Ann Taylor One-button Swing Jacket

The Casual Jacket - I have a collarless jacket with bracelet sleeves of Ponte de Roma knit. On a cool day, I toss it over my top or dress to stay warm but still stylish. My mom has a denim jacket that nips in at the waist, zips up and has a flattering dark hue. It's the perfect spring-season coat that matches her style of bright colors and bold silver jewelry. Having a jacket with a bit of structure will keep your shape as well as your style on cooler days. If the jacket is low on adornments, it will be easily paired with most of your wardrobe. Consider a collarless jacket, a lightweight blazer with stretch, a denim jacket with shape, or a solid-colored heavy knit for something that is just as comfy as your favorite hoodie.

The Crop Pant Alternative
It's too hot for long pants, and you would rather die than walk around in shorts (I agree, most styles are so unflattering). What's a woman to do? If you visit stores like J. Jill you would think the only alternative is cropped pants or capris. Those wide-legged pants that hit between the calf and the ankle bone, often made of a wrinkled linen or stiff chino. Well ladies, these pants do not look good on ANYONE. But what is available for a woman who wants something other than Daisy Dukes?

City Shorts - the past couple of seasons have brought shorts to more flattering lengths. City shorts are a tailored, crisp look that can be paired with jackets and blouses for a work-worthy look (check with HR before you attempt this in your office). They hit at the knee, and usually have the same details as your favorite work pants (cuffs, creases, belt loops, even lining). Worn with a blazer and sandals it is a great alternative for a casual work environment (or even a trip to the mall); with a simple sleeveless top it is a nice look for the weekend or running errands.

Some options:
Ann Taylor Loft Sateen City Shorts
IGIGI Plus-size Cuffed Shorts
Eddie Bauer Tab-front Denim Shorts

Bermudas - similar to city shorts, Bermudas are usually cut a bit more narrow in the leg and are without the cuff. Sold in almost every fabric imaginable, these are a flattering style for a woman with medium to slim thighs who likes her knees. They can be worn with tanks, tailored shirts and floaty peasant-style tops alike.

Some options:
Old Navy Women's Plus Sateen Bermudas
Gap Clean Bermuda Shorts
Mossimo for Target Bermuda shorts

Culottes - these are not the candy-colored poly-blend divided skirts of the 70s and 80s. Culottes have gotten a hip makeover. Often described as shorts or gauchos, these garments hit anywhere from just at the knee to right above the large part of the calf. In stiffer fabrics (twill, denim), they have a slight a-line to each leg that is as flattering as a skirt of the same cut. Culottes look best with a tailored top so that the excess width doesn't drown you in fabric or lose your shape. Fabrics with more flow (jersey, ponte, matte jersey) will often have a fuller leg. This fabrication of culottes is a bit trickier to wear; look for tops in similar fabrication for a dressy lounge look and be sure your shoes compliment (flats and delicate sandals are good choices).

You Look Fab wrote an amazing post on this exact subject. She explains the difference between walk shorts and capris and offers some images to show how a shorter or slimmer pant is actually more flattering on a woman's body.

The Messy/Gelled Ponytail Alternative
For many years I lived with an elastic on my wrist at all times. Work, dates, nights out, the gym, even as a bridesmaid in a wedding... that elastic was there as my safety blanket. I had long layered hair that never wanted to behave. It parted int he middle, feathered, would never be straight, my curls were frizzy and frustrating and most days my hair was piled into a messy topknot by lunch. I recognize you sisters with frustrating hair - you have it gelled into a very tight ponytail because nothing seems to handle the curls. Messy topknots cover grown out layers, roots, and split ends. A butterfly clip holds back those bangs you are growing out as you tend to your computer, your meal preparation or your children. There are just not enough hours in the day as it is, who wants to spend a lot of time with their hair?

The thing is, your hair is one of the first things people see. You wear it more often than any garment in your wardrobe and are judged by it faster than with a muffin top or tapered jeans. Yes, it can be a pain and time consuming, but there are ways to make your hair manageable, attractive, and still fit into your busy schedule.

Haircut/Color - first things first, hair that is not maintained looks like crap. No matter how many products or what accessories you put on it, hair that is overgrown, washed out and grown out looks messy and has people think you don't care about yourself. If it has been a few months, at least go in for a quick trim. If you are living in a ponytail 24/7... stop and wonder what the point of a long mane is if it is always pinned up. Your life may be easier and your morning routine faster with a shorter 'do.

If your hair is unmanageable even when straight from the hairdresser... you may need a new hairdresser. Before hitting up every salon in town, do a bit of homework. Google your hair texture and more often than not you will find many message boards, blogs and Web sites dedicated to your hair, full of fellow women with the same plight. You may be able to find resources on products to use, stylists who specialize in your hair, and cuts that work best for your texture. Jen at Mythbuster Beauty often reviews products for curly hair and discusses her specific hair type. She and many of her readers have recently taken on The Curly Hair Challenge, a new spin on how to manage curly hair.

Accessories - butterfly clips are great for holding sections of your hair when blowing it dry, they aren't great for day (and never good for evening) wear. Snagging your daughter's colorful baubles to hold back your mane isn't going to improve your style either. Your best bet are simple, hair-colored accessories. Ouchless elastics in tan, brown and black are great - take a piece of your hair from underneath, wrap it around the elastic and hold in place with a Bobby pin and you have made a boring ponytail quite chic. Slim tortoise-shell and black plastic headbands with teeth are a great way to deal with bangs that are growing out; skinny elastic bands are excellent for the gym and casual looks, and headbands in fun colors and prints will add femininity and style to a simple outfit. Barrettes should be used in moderation - a small one to hold back a section of hair at the top of the head can work on some, but large barettes that hold all your hair or a bedazzled or decked out with bows are dated and should be disposed of immediately.

The Yoga Pant Alternative
It's that time of the month, your nursing a cold or possibly a hangover. The last thing you want to do is suck yourself into a pair of rigid jeans or lined trousers. However heading out of the house in yoga pants or sweatpants isn't going to make you feel or lookk much better. Gym wear is NOT streetwear, no matter how many tacky fake-baked women sport it at the local mall. This means velour loungesuits, yoga pants with matching hoodies, terry sweatsuits, bulky hooded sweatshirts supporting your favorite sports team, or athletic shorts. They don't hide your bumps, they don't help you blend into the woodwork, and they don't boost your self-esteem. No matter your budget or figure, there are garments out there that are both flattering and comfortable.

Linen Drawstring Pants - I love my linen drawstring pants! I get them for a great price at places like Victoria's Secret and Old Navy and wear the heck out of them. Paired with a tank and flops, I can sip my morning coffee on my back deck. With a cotton peasant top, long necklace and sandals, I am dressed for a casual day at work. With a coordinating linen tank and heels, it becomes an elegant look for a dinner date with my husband or a bridal shower. Do recognize that white and light colors are often quite sheer and require skin-colored (NOT WHITE) smooth undergarments. Black tends to fade, so wash them on the gentle cycle and invest in a colorfast clothing wash. Most companies have linen drawstring pants in basics like black, white, brown aand beige and in a laarge range of sizes and lengths. They are the chic equivalent to scrubs or yoga pants, and jsut as comfy.

Some options:
Victoria's Secret Linen Drawstring Pant
Old Navy Wide-Leg Linen Pants
Charter Club Drawstring Waist Linen Pant

Jeans with Lycra - denim may be the fabric of choice for Americans, but thyat doesn't means its comfortable. Lack of stretch, bunching at the crotch, digging into the tummy, gaping at the waist, and the dreaded muffin top... jeans can be downtright horrible to a woman's frame and torture to wear. Many companies offer jeans of a lighter-weight denim that have Lycra infused into them which makes them more forgiving to a woman's curves and also far more comfortable.

Ponte Trousers - ah Ponte De Roma, my favorite fabric. This fabric was in every collection that Express carried when I started working there in 1997 - the District Manager who interviewed me was wearing a belted safari jacket and pencil skirt out of the fabric, and when I started I was encouraged to purchase a pair of the boot-cut, elastic-waist ponte pants in black "because they go with everything." A couple years later, us employees would giggle when customers would come in the store asking where we kept our ponte pants for they had quickly become passe and the attire of the wanna-be hip grandmother and the mom-to-be. Too bad, as that ponte fabric is a densly-woven heavyweight knit that holds its shape, hides lumps and bumps and works in almost every season.

Well Ponte de Roma has returned and I couldn't be more thrilled. No elastic-waist boot-cut leggings this go-round, ponte is being used for Jackie-O inspired jackets, shift dresses, suits and trousers. The fabric is refined and appropriate for work, yet is as comfortable as a pair of your favorite yoga pants. Even with a zipper and waistband, ponte fabric has enough give that a structured pair of trousers will not cut or dig into you. If dry cleaned or washed gently and left to line or flat dry, ponte fabric will maintain its shape and color for years.

Some options:
Alfani Woman Ponte Pant
Sutton Studio Petite Ponte Pants

Tee Shirt Dress - when all else fails, through on a tee shirt. The tee shirt dress is usually a lightly heavier weight than your favorite top and hits at or slightly above the knee. If it is a straight or slightly a-line style, it will be forgiving even on the most bloated of days. Paired with a scarf or necklace and a sassy pair of sandals, a tee shirt dress will work for most daytime affairs. In a saturated color, people will notice the hue before they notice that it's made of jersey, and if the quality of cotton is good, it will look totally appropriate at the office as well as at Target or book club.

Some options:
Old Navy Cap Sleeve Knit Dress
Banana Republic Long-sleeved Geo Print Dress
C&C California Classic Tee Shirt Dress

A Bit of Me...

Have had a couple places where I have been mentioned outside of my blog and thought you may be interested:

I am starting a column at the awesome online magazine Budget Savvy. I am a longtime reader and over the year have written a few articles for it. Well I am starting a monthly fashion shopping column and I'd love it if you could check it out. My first column is available here; and do consider signing up for the Budget Savvy newsletter - you don't get a ton of email from it but you do receive great tips on having a gorgoues life (shopping, food, home, finance) that fits within your means!

I recently was the guest blogger on Style IT, a fave blog of mine. If you wonder when madras is appropriate wear, check it out!

Finally, for you fellow bloggers, I was a guest speaker for a seminar on Coutorture's BlogTalkRadio where I discussed how I maintain loyal blog readership. Very casual conversation with Sarah Conley and Julie Frederickson of Coutorture Media; it's an hour long and may be boring as heck to most but if you are a blogger, you may find it interesting!

UPDATE: I completely forgot that I had a post on the Splendicity home page! Splendicity is an awesome group of fashion, shopping a beauty blogs. Check it out!

And for those who read both of my blogs, sorry for the corss-post. You know I don't usually do this but I thought this may be interested to both sets of readers! :)

Splendid Reads for This Weekend...

From the Splendicity community, comes this week's splendid best in beauty, style and shopping!



FASHION
Haute & Bothered says The Hills Are Alive with...Fashion Lines! Check out Whitley's new collection here.

eye4style hates Bluefly but is open minded enough to check out their newest site concept, b*fly, anyway. Check it out here.

She Knows Best continues it's month long weekly contests with 2 free shirts from The Ryde.

My Wardrobe Today sends out a special dedication to all those who have inspired her in regard to fashion.

STYLEnosh starts a ruckus by asking, "Do we dress too casually?"

Snarkstress thinks Fergie could make Bootylicious an entry in the dictionary.

SHOPPING
CelebLOOK tells you where to get an affordable and casual outfit that was recently seen on Jessica Simpson.

Let's Go Shopping says Forzieri is a one stop destination for Italian Designer Handbags, Shoes, Jewelry and Accessories.

Wardrobe Oxygen offers suggestions on where to purchase supportive yet flattering swimwear.

Style It Less lets you in on the best bras according to a Consumer Reports research.

Style Tots picked uber-cute Hello Kitty accessories from Claire's for your Little girl.

The Latest Luxe enjoys some rainbow RX with the Fendi Multicolored B Bag

BEAUTY
Teri from Beautiful Makeup Search finally made a visit to Space.NK in Soho.

A Touch of Blusher continues the feast of vibrant colors.

Lipstick, Powder 'n Paint appreciates a quick and easy beauty routine and Bobbi Brown's Quick Face Collection will help take minutes off your makeup routine.

Style Goodies has the scoop on the new fragrances from Gwen Stefani's Harajuku Lovers line!

makeup loves me has an exclusive discount code to get you 20% off on tarte, cargo, philosophy and so much more.

Beauty Banter reviews the BEST lippies with SPF for summer protection and a hydrated pout!

Raging Rouge kicks off an introduction to Urban Decay's 2008 Summer collection with a review of Big Fatty Mascara in a rainbow of colors!

eBeautydaily explores how to look better in photographs and avoid common mistakes.

15 Minute Beauty Fanatic gives herself a facial in 1 minute!

TheScentedLife is suspicious about Gwen Stefani's new fragrance, Harajuku Lovers.

Teen Style Lounge rolls out the first of 4 weekly Clean & Clear skin care giveaways. Don't miss your chance to win this week's prize: an In-Shower facial.

Reader Question - Jeans That Fit

Hi Allie,
I wanted to ask your opinion on something. I have a really difficult time buying pants, especially jeans. I have the flattest butt you will ever see in your life, however, my stomach is far from flat. I also have pretty skinny thighs. Most pants hang off my butt awkwardly and have lots of room in the thighs, and if I go a size smaller, they're too tight across my stomach and I get major rolls. Since sit-ups and squats aren't exactly my favorite, I'm not seeing my body shape change too much in the near future...Do you have any suggestions for brands that aren't made for girls with big booties? By the way, I'm 21 and attend a university.

Thanks,
Anna

Hey Anna:
Jeans seem to be harder for women to buy than bras – they are a wardrobe staple, yet often times look horrible on a woman’s figure. They were originally sported by cowboys, but even a century of modifications haven’t quite made jeans a garment that always works with a feminine shape. However in the past couple of years, many breakthroughs have taken place in the denim industry and there is more selection for those who aren’t necessarily built like a mannequin or a cowboy.

First things first I recommend a style of jeans that has some lycra in it. The stretch will help fit across the stomach and keep the style fitting around curves and your thighs. As for your rear, your denim should always have back pockets to add definition – flap pockets will make a rear look larger and rounder. Steer away from slash or on-seam pockets – a tummy will usually make these pockets gape and cause you to look larger than you actually are. Also steer clear of skinny or stovepipe jeans – these will make your rear look flatter, your tummy larger and in general you will look like a walking lollypop. A straight or slight boot-cut leg will be far more flattering and balance out your frame. Dark denim hides far more flaws and tricks the eye better than lighter hues, add a crease down the front and it will dress up your denim and make your legs look longer (and detract from the tummy). As for rise, you want something near the natural hip which will provide proper coverage for your tummy and also make your rear look curvy.

Another great option are trouser jeans. The lighter-weight denim hangs better so you have a cleaner silhouette, and patch pockets look appropriate. Again, steer clear of front slash pockets, and consider a wider waistband to reduce the chance of the dreaded Muffin Top. As for places to find jeans for your figure:

Custom-Fit Jeans
Many stores sell custom-fit jeans, and for reasonable prices. JC Penney will custom-create a pair of their St. Johns Bay denim for only $44.00. When filling out your information (have a friend with a tape measure ready), you are asked the shape of your tummy, rear and thigh. This is from the custom denim questionnaire:


Custom-fit jeans can also be found at Make Your Own Jeans.com and Lands End. There are many other custom jean companies out there, but few others deal with body specifics and measurements of waist, rear, and thigh.

Find Your Fit
A lot of sites now offer a program where you enter information about your figure and they suggest styles or brands that will possibly work. Zafu is one of the best sites for this, they ask questions such as, “do your jeans usually gape at the waist?” and “When a jean/pant fits well on your hip, how does it typically fit on your waist?” as well as asking a bit about your personal style and denim needs.




Once all the questions are answered, you are given many different styles to choose from, where to purchase and their current purchase price. You also have the ability to adjust your answers to change the results.

Other Jean-finder Sites:
I Love Jeans
Oprah’s Best Jeans for Every Body
MyShape

Brands for Your Shape
There are many brands out there that are made to work with a woman’s curves. The Tummy Tuck brand comes to mind – they create jeans that help you be a size smaller and often have styles that help lift and define the rear. Tummy Tuck and Not Your Daughter’s Jeans (created by Tummy Tuck ®) can be found at Nordstrom and many other retailers.

And finally... if all else fails, hit the men’s section. As a fellow woman with a tummy, I often find that men’s jeans fit well because they are geared for a smaller bum, smaller thighs, and weight to be carried in the stomach. In a classic cut (think Levi’s 501s) and a dark color, they will look chic on a female frame.