My Favorite Bra as a Busty Over-40 Woman
I shared a photo on Instagram Stories showing how my daughter is now taller than I am. While there were many comments on her height (not surprising, her father is 6'4″, and she has tall family members on my dad's side and her dad's dad's side), I received a bunch of DMs asking me about my bra! This is a review, or shall we say a love letter to my favorite bra, one I have bought over and over again for a decade for my busty over-40 bod.
I originally wrote this post in 2022, but I keep getting DMs and comments asking about the bras I wear. I recently did a reorder of my favorite bra and thought it made sense to update and republish.
My Favorite Bra as a Busty Over-40 Woman
My favorite bra, the one I am wearing as I write this, is a style I have had in my intimates drawer for over a decade – the Fantasie smoothing t-shirt bra. I always have two beige and two black in my collection. I get myself sized yearly and then replace the bra with my current size.
I love this bra because it's truly invisible under clothes. It has super simple slim straps that fit under slim-strapped tanks and looks okay, IMO, when peeking out of off-the-shoulder tops. But I love how it takes my semi-deflated large breasts, cups them, lifts them, and makes them look the way I like while being relatively comfortable.
The straps are elastic, which I know a lot of folks do not like when they have heavy and/or larger breasts. However, this bra supports so well from the band and structure that the straps don't do the heavy lifting.
This bra also has fewer hooks than many of my other brands (two hooks versus three, four, or even five), which can seem like it won't work for larger busts. I have worn this as a 36DD, a 38G, and everything in between. I recommend reading reviews before buying. I'm partial to Bare Necessities, where you can filter by age to see if others similar to you have had success.
I find my regular bra size for other department store bra brands (Wacoal, Freya) is the same for Fantasie. The bra's band will be snug at first but it will mold to your body.
When to Replace Your Bra
If you keep your everyday bras for longer than a year or so, you are doing your bust a disservice. Regularly worn bras are not supposed to last forever, and bra sizes change regularly with weight fluctuations, fitness changes, lifestyle changes, and gravity.
Do not wear your bras multiple days in a row. Give them at least one day of rest so the elastic and synthetic fibers have time to cool off and dry out. There's nothing wrong with having multiples of the same bra; cycling them will have them all last longer.
IMO, this Fantasie bra needs to be replaced every nine months. I will know it's time when it stops being comfortable. I usually find the bottom of the band to start annoying me because the elasticity has broken down a bit, and the band is starting to fold/wrinkle. Also, I find I have to repeatedly tighten the straps. I have never experienced a wire popping out, a strap breaking, or a hook-and-eye bending, though.
Wearing a Molded Cup Bra for the First Time
If you haven't tried a molded cup bra before, it can take some getting used to. The molded cup lets you play with the shape and positioning of your breasts. With traditional bras, I bend over and sort of sway my breasts into the right position in the cups. With a molded cup, I scoop the breasts, lift them into the cup, and rearrange them to get the right positioning, adjusting so the nipples are in the same direction/same height.
The first time I got this bra was at a bra boutique when I had a proper bra fitting after childbirth. I have since found it at major department stores like Nordstrom and online bra boutiques like Bare Necessities. I do not recommend buying on Amazon; I bought one there, and while the photo was the same one at Nordstrom, I received a different style.
Tips for Getting Fitted for a Bra
I recommend finding a bra boutique near you for a fitting; there you will find the most expert staff and can support a small business with your purchase. If you do not have one near you, higher-end department stores usually have skilled bra experts in their intimates department. I have had a mix of experiences being fitted for a bra at department stores; it really depends on the day, the person on staff, and how busy they are with other customers.
If you do not want to shop in person or are unable to shop in person, I cannot recommend the Subreddit, A Bra That Fits, enough. The group has created a bra calculator and tips to measure yourself at home. They also have a private Facebook group. For this Fantasie bra in particular, here is a link to several photos of the bra taken by owners. (Bratabase)
There is no Perfect Bra for Every Bust
Keep in mind that my favorite bra may not be yours. We are all shaped differently and this bra may end up a '50s bullet bra or incredibly uncomfortable on you. If you are shopping online, choose a retailer with a reasonable return policy and celebrate the fact that we are all unique and gorgeous and so are our bustlines!
If you tried this bra, share your thoughts in the comments. If you have a different favorite bra for your over-40 large bust, please share that as well to help this be a useful resource for the Wardrobe Oxygen community!
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Seconding the Bare Necessities recommendation. My life was changed when I realized I needed a “cut and sewn” bra for the best lift. I still wear the Fantasie under t-shirts, but otherwise swear by the Elomi.
Enthusiastic second for the bra boutique recommendation!
For those who live within a day trip of Charlottesville, Virginia, the shop Derriere de Soie takes bra fit appointments, has excellent customer service and selection. I make a pilgrimage twice a year and enjoy fit, lift, & charming variety, all as a fifty something 32G. Bras are the largest line item in my clothing budget and so, so worth it.
Life is too short for ugly or boring or non-functional underclothes!
Thanks for this post, Alison.
Love my Fantasie underwire tankini swimsuit from Bare Necessities, so that bra could be an option. Last week I had to quickly replace my uncomfortable 36DD bras due to a sizing change and after trying on close to 40 options, ended up with the one I was wearing (Bali One Smooth U Smoothing and Concealing) and a wireless version for extra comfort (Bali Comfort Revolution Soft Touch T shirt Wireless Bra) in a 38DD.
I have been wearing Fantasie balconnette bra exclusively for 5 years now. They are simple, no seams, supportive, and the only bra that has more room to tighten the straps. The distance between my chest and shoulders is short. I just ordered the t-shirt bra (which looks just like the balconette but with padding) on your recommendation because I realize that my headlights are a little too prominent sometimes so padding would be good. I also got the soma bra but because you can’t shorten the straps as much as I need them, I am not loving as much. Btw, I am so thrilled I found your site. I love your style and I am your age, height, bra size, and have the same hair so its like having a personal shopper! Also, your post about estrogen is going to be super helpful to me when I go back to my doctor to tweak my hormone replacement.
I wore this bra for over a decade and all of a sudden I couldn’t get one to fit right – I blamed a change in fabric content along the way. I have several new ones in the drawer hoping they will work again. Someone mentioned the Bare Necessities Absolute Minimizer and I tried one and immediately made the switch. It’s got four hooks but otherwise has been a lifesaver for me. One caveat is consistent sizing is hit and miss and it may take a few tries to get as many as you want that fit correctly. I’ve found it very supportive, comfortable and holds up well and is a lower price.
The Wacoal side smoother bra is another winner for a large bust. My go-to for years now.
It definitely looks comfortable to wear! I love that it has full coverage and looks perfect for tight fitting tops
I wear something like a 44DD. Part of the reason I don’t know is that for the past 11 or so years I have worn a brand called Shapeez. I have fibromyalgia, a chronic pain condition. One symptom of fibro is hyper-sensitivity, pain, and tenderness throughout one’s body. As you might imagine, wearing a bra with straps, a band, or underwires that bother me in any way was torture. My breasts are big enough that I’m not comfortable wearing a bra without an underwire outside the house, and like Alison, as my breasts are now semi-deflated post babies, I like a molded bra. A Shapeez bra has a completely smooth back — no visible bra line! No back or side rolls! It has thin, adjustable straps but they aren’t doing the bulk of the heavy lifting, so to speak. The only drawback I’ve found is that the fabric in the comes up a bit high for some tops, especially dressy ones. For those occasions, I usually just suffer for fashion.
Alison, what is you go-to strapless bra? sports bra? Have you found a bra without an underwire that is truly supportive, doesn’t just give you a smooshed uniboob, and you are comfortable wearing out and about? Forgive me if you’ve posted these answers already.
I bought this bra twice but I can’t sort out the sizing. I am a 28DDD or F in every other bra. But that’s doesn’t work in the one. Got frustrated with having to return so I gave up. There isn’t an in person store near me that has this brand.
Sorry that should be 38. Not 28.
Does anyone have any good minimizer recommendations? I’ve been wearing a Wacoal Simple Shaping Minimizer bra, but would like to try another style that is less utilitarian.
Has anyone tried the Soma minimizer? Or the Spanx?
Thanks!
I have both the Soma and Spanx and like the Spanx better, but it is hard to find in my size. The Soma is more available and also good. I recommend both.
I have been wearing the Bare Necessities Absolute Minimizer for a few years now and love it. Sizing can be inconsistent so be prepared for some effort to get the fit right. It’s basic but comes in pretty colors. One drawback is the 4 hook closure but the rest has been a win for me.
Allison – have you tried the Jockey Real Fit bras? I LOVE them (and was surprised how much I did…)- I’m a 38 DD and they are the first bra to not leave indents in my shoulders…super comfortable. They have held up really well to…
I’ll have to look into the bras you highlighted above too!
https://bit.ly/3tpwmJx
Thanks!!
You know I haven’t, I’ve never tried Jockey for bras. I like that sale price. I’d love to hear if anyone else has tried them!
I tried them. The cups weren’t the right size and I wasn’t happy with the support. I am a 40DD.
I love this bra, and have worn it and other styles from them for almost 20yrs! (2003)
My Greek dancing girlfriends tuned me into this brand because we “bounce” when we dance.
They are the best. Also try their sister brand “Freya”.
Occasionally they are on sale at Nordstrom.
This has been my everyday bra, too, for over a decade. The last version I bought had lace on the sides, and it was not an improvement. The plain Jane version is perfect. I also wear the Natori Hidden Glamour (RIP all the beautiful colors that bra used to come in), and the Chantelle Rive Gauche. I’m 53, no longer firm, have more boob near my armpits than my sternum, and wear a 34DDD US, and each of these bras fits so well I don’t notice them.
I am a similar shape, 32DDD, and second the Chantelle Rive Gauche.
I currently prefer to wear the Soma bras from your recommendation, but need to give these a try. As I’ve aged, I’ve figured out that’s it’s not just about style but major comfort. I can’t bear to continuously be adjusting or tugging and poking at my bras anymore. Thanks, Allie.
This is my go-to bra also! I’m a 32G. I’ve been buying this bra since 2012! It’s the best.
I can second the Bare Necessities endorsement. I am BTW 32FF and 34 G (depending on weight, and muscle mass – lats make a difference!). I have chatted with their size experts on the site, and gotten great advice. I can share what bra is fitting me best, and get advice on what size to try in another bra or swimsuit. It’s fantastic.
Now I get a new version of my standard bra everything I get a 25%off discount (that doesn’t exclude panache). And it’s a great way to keep a good stock without spending hundreds. Big bras are $$$$!!