What NO WOMAN Needs in Her Wardrobe

I do not care if you are a size 2 or a size 22; some fashion is just wrong. It may look lovely on the runway, but in reality, Just Pass Go. You will find that same article of clothing on the clearance rack in three weeks.

In general, if something is super hot haute, it's not worth your money. Those of us reading (and writing!) this blog are not billionaires; we need pieces that can last more than one year, that can blend with our current wardrobe, and that do not make us look like fashion victims.

What NO WOMAN Needs in Her Wardrobe

The recent runway shows have brought us gorgeous colors, luxe fabrics, and adorable shoes. They have also brought us several no-nos. I have accumulated a few “trendy” and “classic” fashion don'ts:

Leggings As Pants

Street style icons, fitness gurus, and celebrity fashionistas may be able to carry it off, but that doesn't mean they translate to everyday wear in suburbia. Leggings are great for the gym, for spending time relaxing at home, and for wearing under some styles of tunics and dresses. But they should not be replacements for pants.

Wearing leggings as pants will make you look like an ice cream cone or as though you forgot to fully get dressed that morning. Many like leggings because they do not add bulk, and they feel that means they look slimmer. The only thing leggings as pants are making look slim are your ankles. Leggings are not pants, full stop.

Stretched-Out Old Bras

I'm sorry my friends, I know bras are uncomfortable, but that ratty gray bra you've had for a decade isn't doing you any favors. Bras need to be replaced every year or so plus your body is constantly changing shape and size with time, gravity, and activity. Go to a bra boutique or lingerie department in a higher-end department store to get fitted. A properly-fitting bra will be comfortable, and it will make your body look better, your clothes fit better, and you may actually look smaller too!

Mom Jeans

Cuts and styles of denim constantly change and what is chic one year may be passe the next. I am fully aware that the advice I am offering today may feel quite dated in the future. However, I cannot abide by any stylish woman wearing that which are considered “Mom Jeans.”

Mom Jeans are jeans that hit right at the belly button. They are roomy in the thighs and seat, sometimes with pleats and/or an elasticized waist for comfort and space. The legs taper and hit right below the ankle bone. These jeans are usually a very blue stonewash or a flat faded denim color and all they do is make the roomy spaces look larger. Your belly will look larger and softer, your rear will be more saggy, and your thighs will be more exaggerated. You can find comfort with jeans with stretch and styles that are straight or wider in the leg to balance the body.

Tunic Sweaters

But they go so well with leggings! If you think this, please return to #1. One may think that tunic sweaters cover a multitude of sins. They are cozy. They cover the ass. They're comfortable. Yes, to all of them, but you can find comfort and ass coverage in other ways.

Sweaters are bulky. They hit the breasts and head straight down. They bunch up on the butt. They make everything look bigger and more… vague. Is that a firm bust or a sack of potatoes under that tent? Who knows with all that yarn. Tunics make a person look shorter. They make the top part look unusually large and stocky. Often said tunics come with turtlenecks that make you look like you have a shrunken head and huge body. Find comfort in a sweater that does not go past your hips and does not dwarf you in fabric. By having less fabric, you look smaller.

Activewear for Non-Athletic Events

Activewear is not attire for the mall, for the movies, or for the grocery store. I think these pieces are popular for the same reason tunic sweaters are popular. They are big, they are comfortable, they cover. Yes, they cover, like a tarp covers up a pile of firewood. It's about as attractive as well. Also, who wants to make swish-swish sounds as they walk anyway? If you want comfort, try a knit zip-up hoodie with yoga pants. It can prove just as comfortable without looking like you gave up or are headed to the track.

Dressing Like a Child

This seems to happen first to new moms. I understand you want to bond with your child, but that does not mean you must dress like him. Yes, you like Mickey Mouse or the Tasmanian Devil. That does not mean it has to be appliqued on your back. I like Barbies. I have a collection, yet I do not own a single piece of clothing with Barbies on it. Why? Because I am an adult. I can show my whimsy and fun through my actions, not through poorly fitting clothing with silkscreening. If you are old enough to have sex with your Significant Other and produce a child, you are too old to dress like a preschooler.

Fake Designer Duds

You don't read fashion magazines, and you have no clue what is hip and what is passe. Then why are you sporting those pink shearling boots, a white pleather purse with rainbow logos and a fake lock hanging from the zipper, a newsboy cap in an itchy tweed, a terrycloth smoked top tube dress/tunic over torn jeans?

If you can't or have no desire to stay current, if you don't have an unending wardrobe budget, don't try to fool others with knock-offs. They rarely look legit, and usually, by the time the knock-off hits the stores, the fashionistas have discarded the original. A hint – if they are selling a version in Wal-Mart or Payless Shoes, it's probably passe.

Style Tip: If you are uncomfortable with fashion and fads, go basic. Pants in solid neutrals like black, khaki, camel, gray and brown. Tops in basic styles and solid colors you like looking at regularly. Coats and blazers should be simple, clean lines. I bought a wool coat in 1998 and still wear and get compliments on it. I have sweaters I wear that I bought in college. The reason I can achieve this is because I purchased basics. I didn't fall into the trends of shoulder pads, applique, tassels, or bows.